Seasons Of Love
by Pancake1236
Summary: Derek Shepherd is faced with a strange sense of déja-vu when he magically feels himself drawn to the girl he met in Central Park just before his friend showed up and dragged him away. Does he know her? Just some happy, fluffy MerDer!
1. Winter

**Sorry for the strange chapter and all the thing. My crap PC won't allow me to start a new story so I started one at school during informatics^^ and realised I hadn't uploaded any documents yet. So... yeah. Lucky I didn't got caught + here's your first chapter! **

**It's been a while since I've written anything so... please, critics always appreciated!**

**Alex**

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Winter

It was Wednesday, the day before Christmas Eve.

Everything was white. New York City was covered in a four inch thick layer of fresh, white snow. The cold chilly air blew around me as I walked towards Central Park in my heavy wool coat and wet sneakers. The star shaped snowflakes seemed to fall out of nowhere, drifting towards ground with all the time in the world, landing softly on my skin, melting from the heat I radiated on my skin.

We were going to have a white Christmas.

I spotted an empty bench along the path and sat down, not bothering whisking away the thin layer of fresh snow that has fallen in no time. I just sat there, waiting, staring into the park with my hands shoved into the pockets of my coat, watching the craziness displayed In front of my eyes. Tons of people marching through the park with their arms full of toys, iPods, cashmere pullovers, sterling silver heart lockets and porcelain plates in gift wraps, as they still managed to yell something into their cell phones squeezed between their shoulders while deep frowns appeared in their forehead, revealing just how annoyed and stressed they were. I shook my head. Every year the same frenzy even though they know better than to wait until last minute.

The snow fell faster now, harder, making sure we'd get a white New Year's Eve too. I took a deep breath inhaling the cold, fresh air and looked around again, waiting for Mark to show up. I was giving him another ten minutes and then I'd be going. By now, I was starting to feel a bit cold. Great. I better not get the flu. I still have school after the holidays, not to mention the history essay and the biology presentation and and and… I let my eyes wander around the park again, trying hopelessly to spot my best friend.

That was when I saw her.

I really heard her first. Her musical voice resonated loud and clear, full of happiness.

"Merry Christmas and a happy new year!", she wished every single person passing her by with a bright smile and twinkling eyes full of joy. She seemed so happy, like a six year old knowing she'd get a pony for Christmas, whereas she only could've been a few years younger than me. She was wearing a red coat that ended just above her knees with a belt accentuating her slim waist. Not orange-ish or purple-ish but a bright, warm red. A kind of red nobody seemed to dare wearing. A cream coloured cap covered her head to keep her warm, where a matching scarf and gloves did the same to her neck and fingers. Her golden tresses under her cap framed her angelic face where no make-up seemed to be necessary. The cold air blowing around gave her cheeks a rosy blush. She was the most alluring person I'd ever seen. She seemed to infect the people with a little bit of her holiday magic; pure joy. I couldn't take my eyes off of her. Suddenly I didn't feel cold anymore.

When she wasn't sprinkling around her magic to other people she was either trying to cheer up the grumpy Asian girl stomping next to her or twirling around, stretching out her arms, letting her head fall back and sticking out her tongue trying to catch the falling snowflakes. I had to chuckle at just how adorable she looked.

They were both walking towards my direction now. I instantly sat straight on the bench, almost awaiting her arrival. I felt excitement building up in me as she moved closer with every step she took. I wondered just how her little magic would affect me. Just then someone patted on my right shoulder and I reluctantly turned around. Mark. Great. He had the best timing in the world. I knew we were already late so I grudgingly stood up, patted my coat so that the snowflakes would fall off. I took one last look at the enchanting girl and saw that she was just a few metres away from me now, looking me directly in the eye with her twinkling green eyes.

I felt a rush a warmth running through my veins. I knew that in that moment I fell in love with her. Her eyes were gazing into mine full of joy, calmness and…love, it seemed. She looked at me as if she knew me, as if we knew each other. But I couldn't place her. She was unfamiliar to me although I seem to recall those emerald orbs. As if to confirm my thoughts she grinned, opened her luscious lips and spoke in her bright voice, shocked me and went on to catch up with to friend.

"Merry Christmas and a happy new year, McDreamy!"


	2. Spring

Spring

I was on spring break and decided to come home for a few days. I was stressed and under a lot of pressure. All those exams and presentations were kicking my ass so I came here to try to relax and clear my mind. That's the official reason I told everyone. Truth was that I came here hoping I'd meet the girl who I fell in love with again.

I still remember that day vividly. I remember going back to Central Park the day after. And the day after. And the day after. I also remember not seeing her.

I'd been going to Central Park again this time. Everyday I'd go there trying to find her again, see her and talk to her yet everyday she wouldn't be there. Her words downright haunted me. I asked myself over and over again; How did she know my secret nickname? Nobody knows about it. I don't even remember anymore how I got this nickname. I must've been 10 years old if not younger. It seems stupid now. Flying 2408 miles across the country to New York City using my family as an excuse just to see the mysterious girl again. "Forget that chick. I mean, she's hot but nothing special. Just get over it, dude.", Mark had said that day when I couldn't stop rambling about her. But she wasn't. She wasn't just some chick. She wasn't something 'non-special' or just any other ordinary girl. I felt it. I was in love with her. There was something more. She was special to me. Extraordinary.

I suddenly noticed that I was standing in the middle of Central Station. Stressed people walking around, trying to catch a train, greeting their friends. It was a rather warm April afternoon. A lot of people were already walking around in T-Shirts, including myself. I found myself staring at the huge display, reading the time table. Trains from different direction arrived and departed here, including the airport. Then it struck me.

She wasn't from here. She didn't live here. She probably was on Christmas break too, just like me visiting the relatives, hanging in Central Park and then back to college. She could've been anywhere. Anywhere but here. She could've been in Alaska right now for all I know. From one second to the other I panicked. I would never see her again. It was crazy. I didn't even know her and yet I feared that I would never see her again. How could someone hold such a great power over me? A stranger to me, nonetheless. It made me realise once again just how stupid this whole action was. I was holding on to her for the last three months and never did it cross my mind that… she didn't even have to be from the U.S! Great. My chances finding her here just crushed. Defeated, I realised that I wasn't going to find her anytime soon, unless fate brought us together. Not that I actually believe in fate or some kind of love-at-first-sight-thing like my sisters do. I let my head down in defeat and turned around to go home when I caught the glimpse of a red…skirt, it seemed, just a millisecond before I crashed roughly into someone, sending the person knocking down the floor.

"Sorry!", I mumbled my apology and looked up to help the person I'd knocked over.

I felt as I my heart literally stopped beating, like I was moving in slow motion.

"I must say, that's some way to hit on me, McDreamy.", her musical voice resounded in my ears. I couldn't help but stare at her as I offered my hand.

She was here. Standing in front of me, the most beautiful girl I've ever seen. The girl I've been looking for, the girl I flew 2408 miles for. The girl I was in love with. She was here holding my hand. Our first touch. Our first physical connection I noticed randomly.

I watched her slowly standing up on her white strappy sandals, pulling on her red skirt which ended just above her knees and her white blouse. She patted on her skirt and reached behind her, pulling a small red trolley next to her. I felt my hopes crashing. She was going somewhere, home probably. Or maybe she just arrived. I looked up from her blazing red trolley and looked at her, her beautiful green eyes, her little nose, her luscious lips, and her soft skin. What was I going to say to her? Where was she going? What was her name? I opened my mouth a couple of times, trying to speak. She smiled.

"I'd hurry up, McDreamy. I have a train and plane to catch."

I was right. She was going, not coming. But where was she going?

"Where are you going?", I finally managed to ask her. My question seemed off guard to her looking at her thoughtful expression. Didn't she know where she was going to? I waited patiently for her response until she spoke again.

"Where McSmoothies and McCreamies are sweeter, Derek.", she told me after while and smiled her happy smile again, waiting for my response. As if she knew her words reacted in my mind, my mind did race.

McSmoothies and McCreamies? How the hell did she know my favourite McDonald's deserts? And how does she know that I think they're not sweet enough?! It was then when a flashback hit me like a wall of bricks…

"_Yuck! My McCreamy's not sweet enough eagain!"_

"_Eeew! My McSmoothie too! Lucky I stole some sugar out of mum's kitchen."_

"_Yunno, my aunt says in not-America the McSmoothies and McCreamies are sweeter!"_

"_Derek, your aunt is a big fat liar…"_

"_Hey! She's not fat! And she's not a liar!"_

"_She is! I bet you 10 McSmoothies that it's not sweeter in Asia!"_

"_Deal! And it's not Asia."_

"_You said not-America! It can be anywhere!"_

"_Whatever, Miss know-it-all! She meant Europe!"_

"_Hey! Why don't we give each other McNames? It could be our… super secret silent sunset McNames!"_

"_What kind of McNames?"_

"_Well,… you like McCreamies. You could be McCreamy!"_

"_Yuck. I'm not McCreamy."_

"_Hmph. Well, what about McDreamy? Because 'apparently' you always remember your dreams…"_

"_I do remember! McDreamy is good. What about you? McSmoothie?"_

"_Naaw. I'm McSweetie. Cuz I'm everybody's sweetie!"_

"_Puh-leeze! You're not that sweet!"_

"_Yes I am! I'm McSweetie!"_

"_Whatever, I'm so much cooler cuz I'm McDreamy. "_

McSweetie?

"M…McSweetie?!" Her eyes sparkled as she nodded brightly. I cannot believe it. She was the only best girl friend I ever had. My best friend of one year when I was nine or ten years old is the girl I'd been looking for. I've known her all along! How could I not recognise her? How did she recognise me?

"I have to go. The train's leaving soon and I really have to get on that plane.", she interrupted my mental rambling.

Suddenly all my questions just flowed all over the place. "But…when will you come back? Where do you live? Where can I find you? How did you find me? Don't you have another five minutes? Please, I…"

All of sudden she grabbed my face and crashed her full lips forcefully onto mine. I instantly felt the rush of warmth running through my veins, just like the day in Central park. But before I found my senses again and could've responded to her kiss she pulled away, leaving it a short, hard peck on the lips.

"I'm sorry I really have to go. Bye Derek!", she said as she started walking off with her trolley into the crowd. I instantly reacted.

"Wait! I'm not finished kissing you!", I told her and caught her wrist. I wanted to kiss her, my first intentions were to kiss her. But I realised that there was something I needed her to know. She turned around smiling but didn't come closer as if she knew there was something unsaid.

"I… I'm in love with you.", I whispered loud enough for her to hear. When did I became so open, honest? "Please don't go. Just a few minutes."

"I'm sorry, Derek, but you'll have to wait.", she told me sadly, still holding my hand. I loved the feeling of the electric spasms on my palm where her hand touched mine. A simple touch of hers and I could forget anything else.

"Wait?", I asked dumbfounded.

"Six months. Wait for me for six months. If you really are in love with me, you'll wait. If not, I'll understand.", she gave me the options although I saw that she preferred I took the first option.

"But how will you find me after six months?"

"Don't worry, Derek. I'll find you. Bye! I'll write you!", and she disappeared in the crowd. I suddenly couldn't resist the urge calling after her into the crowd.

"I'm in love with you, Meredith Grey! I will wait!", I yelled. I didn't care that people were staring at me. I didn't care that I had just confessed my love to a girl in front of hundreds of total strangers. All I wanted was her to know how sure I felt.

"Six months, Derek Shepherd!", she yelled back and I l saw her red trolley disappearing.

A half year. Six months. 26 weeks. 202 days. I didn't feel lost this time like I did the day at Central Park. I didn't feel all too sad. I trusted her. I had faith in her that she would find me, even though she didn't know where I lived. We had a date. We had a date in six months. I knew that I was going to see her again, even if it was far away. I could look forward to the day I saw her again. Because I knew for sure that I would see her again. I knew that she'd be worth the wait.

After all she was my McSweetie.


	3. Summer

**I' on spring break! Which means I finally got to post this update! As always**

**Read&Review!**

**Alex**

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Summer

I waited.

I waited exactly six months, two weeks and five days.

And she still didn't show.

The days were getting a bit colder as summer cam to an end day by day. First signs of autumn appeared. Windy days were frequent. The long-sleeved sweater came into use more often now, just as closed sneakers. No more Flip Flops.

Except today.

It seemed as if today was the re-birth of summer. The sun was shining, the sky was cloudless, the temperature rose again. Everybody at Dartmouth enjoyed the warm day, warm enough to go swimming in the rivers and lakes. As if by magic everybody's mood changed too by 180°. Each student and teacher was smiling happily, enjoying the probably last day of dressed in shorts, t-shirts and Flip Flops. The girls dressed in their favourite mini skirts, showing off as much skin as possible to let everyone see again just how well tanned they got this past summer during holidays in South France.

South France. Marseille. That's where Meredith was three months ago. 21st May. That's where she sent me her post card from. And I still remember it word for word…

_Hey Derek!_

_It's so awesome here! Almost every day it's 26°C! The beaches are filled with hotties and the food is just "exquisite and delicious". I'm having a great time here just laying on the beach, relaxing in the sun and playing tourist (BTW I'm really grateful for my French classes right now!)_

_Hope you're enjoying your holidays as well! Will se you at Dartmouth!_

_Love_

_Your McSweetie_

I thought I had figured it all out when I recognized her as my childhood friend. But apparently I hadn't. She was still a mystery to me. How did she get the address of my parent's house? By the way, my mother was pretty much delighted when I explained to her who McSweetie was. How did she know that I'm at Dartmouth? I don't recall to ever have told her that which was pretty stupid of my by the way.

I left the main building and started walking towards my dorm just a few streets away, when something from across the street caught my eye.

It was a blazing red VW Beetle Cabriolet.

And leaning against the car was Meredith Grey.

She was here. She came. She found me. The most intriguing, enchanting and optimistic person I've ever known was standing across the street, smiling brightly.

I couldn't help but take her appearance in, bit by bit. Just like the past two times I saw her.

Her golden tresses were up in a high pony tail a few locks framing her bright face. Under her short, red bolero or something like that she wore a pure white summer dress that ended just above the knee showing off her perfect French tan. Not cream, or beige but snow white. The dress would've looked rather innocent if she hadn't put on some red necklace, distracting the direct view to her deep cleavage. Matching her jacket, she wore a pair of red ballet flats. She didn't look innocent at all. A single red bangle was dangling on her slim wrist right under where she was holding her McSmoothie.

I instantly quickened my pace and crossed the street without waiting for Mark. I couldn't help but grin the whole time. I was happy. Ecstatic. Overjoyed.

I came to an abrupt halt right in front of her and we just stood there for a while without saying anything. I think my brain hadn't really realised yet that she really stood in front of me. When my brain finally did react, I breathed a small "Hi." Because honestly, I didn't have enough energy to say anymore. I was just happy to see her.

"Hey", she said back smiling and continued to sip on her McSmoothie, waiting for my next step or whatever.

"I…uh…you…I…uhm…", I began to stutter just like the previous times talking to her.

I could read in her eyes that she found this rather amusing so she decided to do the talking. At least the start.

"So, I guess I owe you ten McCreamies…", she declared and I must admit that I was confused at that moment.

"Why?", I asked her, stepping a bit closer as a motorbike almost ran me over.

"Well…here", she said and handed me something that looked like a thermos bottle.

What was in there? Why did she want me to have it?

"Relay, Derek. I'm not trying to poison you!", she told me jokingly as she must've seen my sceptical frown spread across my forehead. "Just have a sip.", she encouraged me.

Still sceptical I took the thermos flask out of her hand and slowly took of the lid. I looked inside still with a frown, trying to recognize the fluid that was in there but somehow I couldn't place it. It did smell familiar though.

"It's not poison, Derek. Just do it already.", she rolled her eyes playfully and started to giggle. It seemed to be the most enthralling sound I've ever heard.

Carefully, I took a small sip. When I still couldn't place the drink I took another, this time bigger sip.

It was a McCreamy.

Yet it tasted a bit different. Sweeter. No doubt. There must've been tons of sugar on that thermos bottle. And that was exactly how I liked my McCreamy. Sweet and totally unhealthy.

That was why she'd told me that she still owed me ten McCreamies. She'd lost her bet. A bet we did almost ten years ago. And she still remembered it.

I took another sip and slowly closed the lid of the thermos flask again. Handing it back to her I looked up into her expectant eyes. I could tell that she was excited, expectant.

"It's sweet.", I said and smiled. Smiled, because of just how thoughtful she was. She must've decanted the original McCreamy from the Styrofoam cups from McDonald's into this thermos flask. She must've done this just before she went on her flight. Probably in one of those countless McDonald's they have in the airports.

"It is.", she replied and we fell silent again.

"I waited.", I suddenly told her, almost out of the blue and looked down at my shoes. I can't remember to have ever done that. In fact, I can't remember to ever have stuttered or my brain blacking out just because of the mere presence of a girl.

A girl I was in love with.

She smiled a rather happy smile and put her McSmoothie aside into the passenger's seat of her Beetle and looked me in the eye.

Her eyes were mesmerizing. Her green orbs, just how much story they seemed to hold, just how much they seemed to tell. I slowly took her hands and started circling her hand with my thumb without breaking our eye contact. Her skin was so smooth. Soft. We didn't need to say anything. We seemed to have all the time in the world. Nothing like the past time two times we met. No rushing. No running away. No plane to catch. Time.

After what seemed to be an eternity, she pulled me a bit closer to her, our thighs barely touching. She then smiled a sweet smile at me and asked me.

"Will you now finish kissing me?"

There was only one right response to that.

"I don't think I'll ever be able to finish kissing you."


	4. Autumn

Autumn/Fall

It was late and it was raining. Big, fat drops of water falling from the dark, heavy clouds that covered the sky over Seattle. A sudden light flash followed by a roll of thunder signalled for a restless night.

The lightning startled me for a split second forcing me to tighten my grip around the steering wheel as I drove down an unfamiliar road. I quickly recovered from the shock yet the girl next to me literally jumped from her seat. I put my right hand on her left thigh as I tenderly caressed it with my thumb trying to calm her a bit. It seemed to have worked because she soon told me to pull up into the driveway of a house on our left. Bringing her old Jeep to a halt in said driveway I turned off the engine and pulled out the key as we continued to sit there in silence. After another lightning we finally moved out of the car. I quickly grabbed my overnight bag I'd packed before coming to Seattle on such a short notice and followed her to the house. She quickly unlocked the door and soon enough we were in the dry, warm house which belonged to her mother.

I continued to follow her silently upstairs through the house as she flicked on the lights in a bedroom that seemed to be hers. There posters of rock stars and actors all over the wall, a bookshelf full of books covered in a layer of dust and then, right above her bed there was a world map with a huge red circle of Edding around Europe. A few pins were sticking out here and there, I recognized Paris and London. She must've always wanted to go to Europe.

Unlike the other things in her room, the bed seemed to be freshly made. Her mother must've assumed that she'd be sleeping here tonight.

She then came out of the bathroom fully changed into her pyjamas and we just stood there looking at each other. I slowly put down my bag and changed quickly as she silently slipped into her bed. I looked up for a moment and for the first time tonight after our visit I really looked at her.

I didn't recognize her anymore.

Her eyes looked dull. Lifeless. The usual 24/7 happiness and giddiness seemed to be covered by a thick layer of regret and guilt. I've never seen this side of Meredith before. Never would I have expected to see such a dark side of her. In the short time we've been dating she was always this happy, bright girl full of love, life and joy. She literally infected people with her optimistic ways. It hurt me to see her in such a state. She seemed to be another person. A person I didn't know at all.

Yet I knew that she wasn't like this. And I knew she wouldn't stay like this. At least I hoped so.

I silently slipped into bed with her when she turned around to face me without touching me. The bed felt cold. I had to talk to her. I had to know.

"Are you okay?", I asked her gently as we looked at each other. Something seemed to shift in her eyes.

"No.", she whispered and tightened her grip around her pillow beneath her head.

"I…do you want to talk about it?", I tried again carefully. I felt so useless. I saw that she was hurting yet I didn't know what to do other than be there. I've never been in such a situation before I must admit so I was completely clueless.

"I don't know", she whispered again yet this time I heard her voice trembling. A tear slid down her delicate cheek as she sniffed. I had to touch her. Feel her warmth. So I gently covered her hand that laid next to her face on the pillow with mine. Her hand was cold.

"I don't know.", she said again, this time not in a whisper anymore and I could detect that she was ready to talk. "I…it's just so unexpected. Such a shock.", she tried to explain. I tried to nod against the pillow.

"It's okay. Nobody was prepared for this. It's okay.", I tried to reassure her as the tears started to flow freely now almost in sync with the pouring rain outside the window.

"I… it's just…I feel so helpless.", she admitted silently as I began to trace small circles on the back of her hand. "There's nothing we can do. I…she will forget me. She' won't know me anymore. She will be all alone because there will be no memories left", she told me and looked me in the eyes and I sensed her frightened eyes. "She…we never got to know each other any better. And now that we have the chance, now that she's actually having to step down as Chief it's because she won't remember."

She was crying, my girlfriend. It hurt me to see her in such a distress the whole situation was doing to her. She looked so sad and broken. Because she now never really got the chance to get to know her mother any better. I gently brushed my thumb over her cheek and then gently cupped it with my hand when she leaned in.

We were silent for a few moments when she suddenly broke out in heavy sobs.

"I…she…She's going to be alone! I…I don't…I can't…she…", she let out in between her sobs as she started hyperventilating.

"Sssh. It's going to be okay.", I said and pulled her against my body and gently spooned her and held her tightly to my chest until I felt her heaving chest relax. "We'll figure it out."

"She will be alone. I don't want her to be alone.", she sighed softly as she calmed down.

"And she won't be alone.", I told her as I continued to hold her tightly and tried to reassure her. "She has Dr. Webber. He knows and he'll be there for her."

It seemed to put her at ease knowing that Ellis Grey had made at least one friend who would be there for her. I felt her shift slightly in my arms and I loosened my grip on her. She slowly backed out so she could turn around and look at me. She looked so much better now. Of course not as good as her usual self with all the giddiness but at least her eyes were alive again and contained some hope. She brought her hand up to my face and gently pressed her soft, full lips onto mine and let it linger for a while. She then pulled back slowly and when I reopened my eyes I saw a small smile on her lips. I couldn't help but smile a little too.

"Thank you", she then whispered to me.

"Anytime", I replied and brushed off the last remains of her tears.

"Can you just hold me?", she asked me and turned around again.

I instantly responded and we went back into the spooning position we were in before, holding her tightly to my chest. I covered her hand in mine as she placed our interlaced fingers over her heart as we drifted off into a peaceful slumber while the world outside continued to spin madly on.

In that night I experienced the dark side of Meredith for the first time. Not the usual "Bright'n'Shiny" Meredith but the "Dark'n'Twisty". And I realised that what we had wasn't just some college crush or a temporary thing. It was real. Of course I was in love with her. I've known that for a long time. But it struck me that in times like these she would turn to me and I would turn to her first. It was a natural thing as if there's never been anyone else. It felt so natural even though I didn't really know what to do. I needed her as much as she needed me. There would be bad days. But as long as we held onto each other, I'm sure we'll get by just fine.

* * *

_**Okay so to be honest this chapter didn't just right out fell into place and it still doesn't feel "right" yet but I've been sitting on this chapter for quite a while now so I thought what the hell...^^**_

_**I tried to show a darker side of Meredith in this chapter, one where she's not the happy one but a sad one.**_

_**BTW this is not the epilogue. Some people were thinking it because Autumn was the only season left. Just saying, not finished just yet.^^**_

_**Please Review!**_


	5. IMPORTANT NOTE!

!IMPORTANT NOTE!

After being absent for quite a while I'm planning on picking up „Shooting Star" and "Seasons Of Love" again with a little re-writing.

Please let me know if any of you guys are still interested in the story! Just leave a little note in the review section or PM me!

~Lexie


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